Seemingly Trivial Unanswered Problems in Discourse: Old Dog Edition

"Seemingly Trivial Unanswered Problems In Discourse," which goes by the acronym D.U.C.K., is an exercise in which we take a question that should not be asked, a question that seems to have no answer or a perfectly trivial answer and actually have a discussion about it for no good reason.

Can you, in fact, teach an old dog new tricks?