Saturday, February 13, 2010

Take My Wife, Please

My Fellow Comedists,

It's time to pass the plate again. In most religions they ask for money, but Comedists tithe jokes. In honor of Valentine's Day, let's do relationship jokes. So, dig deep and be generous.

My offering is an old classic:

A husband and wife are sitting around the breakfast table on Sunday morning and the wife says, "If I die before you, would you remarry?" Not looking up from his paper, the husband says, "Huh?" "I'm serious. If I die before you, would you remarry?" Turning the page, he says, "I don't know, I guess so." "Would you live with her in the house?" "Why are doing this?" he asks. "I just want to know. Would you live in the house?" "I don't know, I guess. It's paid off, why move?" "Would you sleep in the bed, OUR bed?" "Well, you've got to sleep somewhere and it's a perfectly good bed." "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" "Absolutely not." he replies. "You'd sleep in our bed, but you wouldn't let her use my golf clubs?" "No, she's left-handed."

Favorite relationship jokes?

Live, love, and laugh,

Irreverend Steve