Kind of Person: Jerk Edition

This worked well the first time we tried it, so let's go back to the well. The idea is to come up with descriptions of the form "S/he is the kind of person who..." that capture an archetype. Last time we tried the perfect people, this time let's go in the opposite direction and describe those erasable characters who you just have to hate, the real nasty jerks who revel in kicking you when you're down.

"He was the kind of person who grew a beard, knocked out his teeth, and gave himself a scar just to make sure no one would ever have the pleasure of defiling a photo of him."

"She was the kind of person who if ever you needed a hand, she'd always give you the back of it."

"He was the kind of person who would not only use a magnifying glass to set ants on fire, he would bring his own sunlamp in case it was cloudy."

Yours?

The Kind of Person: An Experiment

Let's try something new, something completely different. I've had this idea for a while and wasn't sure if it would fly, but what the heck. It'll be called "The Kind of Person" and the idea is that I will sketch an archetype and in the comments we try to come up with sentences of the form "S/He's the kind of person who _________" that perfectly capture the archetype.

Let's start with that person we all know who is simply too perfect. I had a friend in high school who for an entire summer shaved half his face because his girlfriend was going away and he was so good looking he wanted to cut down the temptation of getting constantly hit on. You wanted to hate the guy, but he was so kind, so much fun, so talented, such a Mensch that you just couldn't.

So,

She's the kind of person who can draw a perfect circle on an etchasketch.

He's the kind of person who can wear khakis and never get "the spot."

She's the kind of person who trips on a crack in the sidewalk and looks like she's dancing.

He's the kind of person who can call a wrong number and get asked to call back.

Yours?

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