Biden's First Words

So Joe Biden's latest presidential bid is off to a rousing start. The first press coverage that the Senator from the great state of Bank of America has gotten concerns his comments about fellow Senator and presidential candidate Barack Obama,

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man."

Oy.

The real shame is that little attention was paid to his speech announcing his intention to form an exploratory committee, the first step in launching a campaign. Fine political oratory. To correct this wrong, find below, Joe Biden's announcement that he taking the first steps towards seeking the Presidency:

Twenty score and eleven years ago our forefathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation conceived in liberty. I am now announcing my intention of forming an exploratory committee to investigate the possibility of my assuming the office of President of this great nation. To run or not to run, that is the question. Whether `tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous questions from reporters or to rise up against a sea of troubles.

I know that some see nothing but troubles in this world, especially in Iraq with the war I voted for and supported, some think it is over for us there. Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it is with help from nations like Germany that we will move forward. We need to repair our standing in the world beginning with our allies in Europe. And I am the man to do it, for ich bin ein Berliner!

Some say we ought to live in fear of these terrorists and surrender our civil liberties. But he who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Others say that modern elections are really about money and there are others who have announced their intentions earlier who may have connections to money, but this is not an insurmountable obstacle for me. Money won't buy everything, it's true. But what it don't get I can't use. My friends in the financial industry said "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what I can do for your country. And so I say to all you, it's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. God bless America.