I Weep For The Onion

How does one write satire when this is reality? (hat tip to Chet at Shakesville for the story and YKW for the image link)

U.S. Congressional candidate Tony Zirkle is facing criticism from one of his primary opponents, and a host of people on the Internet, for speaking at an event over the weekend that celebrated Adolf Hitler's birthday.

Zirkle confirmed to The News-Dispatch on Monday he spoke Sunday in Chicago at a meeting of the Nationalist Socialist Workers Party, whose symbol is a swastika.

When asked if he was a Nazi or sympathized with Nazis or white supremacists, Zirkle replied he didn't know enough about the group to either favor it or oppose it.

"This is just a great opportunity for me to witness," he said, referring to his message and his Christian belief.

He also told WIMS radio in Michigan City that he didn't believe the event he attended included people necessarily of the Nazi mindset, pointing out the name isn't Nazi, but Nationalist Socialist Workers Party.

"he didn't believe the event he attended included people necessarily of the Nazi mindset, pointing out the name isn't Nazi, but Nationalist Socialist Workers Party." I thought they were celebrating ADOLPH Hitler, not ADOLF Hitler. The mind simply boggles.

But if that isn't enough. In defending his speech to this wonderful group of upstanding (and goosestepping) white activists,

Zirkle said he feels he was misunderstood. His real mission, he said, is to rid the country of pornography, and that's what he was saying at the ANSWP gathering. So how did his comment about Jews fit in?

"Most of the male porn stars were Jewish at the beginning," Zirkle explained.

Now the male porn stars are mostly black, he claimed, and the women who appear in pornographic works tend to be "young, white, Christian women."

If people think he is targeting the Jews, he said, they are misinterpreting his position. He is targeting, Zirkle said, the "porn dragon" that inspires Jews to get involved in pornography.

From there he goes on to...

The references to prosecuting Jewish and Zionist gangs, Zirkle said, come from his days as a deputy under former St. Joseph County Prosecutor Chris Toth.

Jewish gangs, huh? Yeah, I remember my roughian days as a young Jewish delinquent. To get into the gang, you had to prove how tough you were by sneaking into a store after closing and altering their books so that costs associated with overhead were no longer deductible unless prorated according to an algorithm that would not allow for depreciation at the standard rate. Man, you didn't mess with the Yids back in those days.