Comedist Rituals and One Proud Poppa

Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,

So, we took the kids to Pizza Putt, a pizza joint, miniature golf course, and arcade. The shorties played in the arcade for an hour amassing a large number of tickets which could be redeemed for cheap plastic crap made in China. My son took his share of the tickets and in a very decisive fashion declared that he wanted the whoopie cushion.

My son has got first whoopie cushion. They grow up so fast [wiping sentimental tear from eye]. It truly was like a coming of age ritual in a Comedist household (and has the added advantage that I can now blame it on the whoopie cushion whenever I need to).

This made me think that we will actually need rituals marking off the important times of life and the year. For suggestions I turn to you, my friends. What should be the sacred Comedist rites and rituals? Baptism with a squirting lapel flower? Reading from the Friar Club joke book at 13? A roast for a funeral? Suggestions?

Live, laugh, and love,

Irreverend Steve