Monday, September 25, 2006

RIP Popeye (1929-2006)

There was not a dry eye in Cartoonland when Bluto ended his eulogy,

"He met his finish,

'cause he ate his spinach,

he was Popeye the Sailor Man."

While the two played nemeses on screen, in real life Popeye and Bluto were the closest of friends, starting as a merchant marine's doodles back in the days of Vaudeville. After years, of clawing and scratching their way to fame together, Bluto shed a tear as he said, "I can't believe I'll never hear his 'gug-gug-gug' again. I'll miss that scallywag more than words can express."

While emphysema forced him to abandon his ubiquitous pipe decades ago, even through all years in the home for retired cartoon characters, Popeye never gave up his trademark vegetable, what an older Betty Boop would refer to as "forearm Viagra."

Indeed, after watching Wimpy slowly succumb to a horrible brain-wasting disease contracted from burger's tainted with mad cow disease, Popeye became an ever more determined champion of a diet based around dark, leafy greens. "He always said that they are chock full of vitamins A and D and enough iron to build little tanks in your biceps," recalled Poopdeck Pappy.

But as irony would have it, the spinach ended up being his toughest enemy.

Popeye is survived by his girlfriend Olive Oyl and Sweetpea, a child of ambiguous gender whom he may or may not have fathered.