Passing the Plate: Marriage Edition

My Fellow Comedists,

It is time to once again pass the plate. Other religions ask you to donate money, but we Comedists tithe jokes. So dig deep and be generous. This weekend is my wedding anniversary, so what better time to ask for marriage and relationship jokes?

My contribution is a classic:

A husband and wife were drinking their coffee after breakfast when the wife asks, "If I died, would you remarry?" Not looking up from his paper, the husband says, "What?" "If I died, would you remarry?" "I don't know. I guess." "Would you live in the house?" she asks. "I don't know," says the husband, "I guess. It's paid for. Why buy another house?" "Would you sleep in our bed?" she asks. "You have to sleep somewhere, it's just a bed." "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" "No." he said decisively. "You would live with her in our house and sleep with her in our bed, but you wouldn't let her use my golf clubs?" "No," replied the husband, "she's left-handed."

So, take my wife, please, or at least take this opportunity to give us your best relationship joke.

Live, love, and laugh,

Irreverend Steve