Sadly Shakes Head

An editorial at Investors Business Daily tries to make the case against the current proposed health care reforms by confusing it with the socialized medical system of Great Britain (which it in no way resembles). To make it better they try to tie it in with the latest bizarro-world Republican claim that the proposal has provisions for mandatory death panels. If that isn't laughable enough, they come up with this:

People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn't have a chance in the U.K., where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.

Ummmmm....

Irony Can Be So Ironic

The British definition of irony is "the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning," whereas the American definition is "the property of being like iron." Either way, irony can be so ironic.

Last week Amazon remotely deleted editions of George Orwell's 1984 from the kindles of folks who had purchased them.

On Friday, it was “1984” and another Orwell book, “Animal Farm,” that were dropped down the memory hole — by Amazon.com. In a move that angered customers and generated waves of online pique, Amazon remotely deleted some digital editions of the books from the Kindle devices of readers who had bought them.

In these electronic times, this feels like personal betrayal. We order from Amazon as often as we e-mail our siblings. Amazon has become something akin to a member of the family, you know, like a big brother to us all.

So, let me see if I understand the Sotomayer hearings properly...We have the first African-American President, raised by a single mother who would get him up at 4 in the morning to get extra time in on his school work which allowed him to go to Columbia and Harvard Law, nominating the first Latina for the High Court, who came from poverty in the projects of the Bronx with parents who so stressed education that her brother became a physician and she went to Yale Law before becoming a federal judge, only to have less intelligent, less qualified, rich white guys complain that her appointment shows the problems with affirmative action.

Just a week after the death of Oscar Mayer (brothers and sisters, our beloved departed had a first name, it was O-S-C-A-R,...), the Wienermobile crashes into the side of a house. I've heard that geese mate for life and when one dies, the other is not long for this world. But please, Wienermobile, try to be strong. None of us relish the idea of going it alone and your beloved Mr. Mayer faced life with all the verve he could have mustard. But this self-destructive behavior may catsup with you the next time because the insurance company may not be around to pull your buns out of the fire.

Ka-splash

Man, I want to play poker with Kim Jong Il. There is no advantage he won't blow. Launching a long-range missile gives him no more capital than threatening to do so. The mere threat gave him leverage with the international community to bargain for...well, it's not exactly clear what.

But instead of using his hole cards to draw in the other side and extract more Elvis movies, he lays them right out there on the table for everyone to see his two nine off suit. He launches it and what happens? The missile carrying the "communications satellite" ends up in the Pacific, another North Korean technological flop.

So now the big worry is that if they have successfully created nuclear warheads -- which of course, we do have reason to doubt they've done right -- we have to be concerned that in an act of aggression, he'll launch them and accidentally drop them on his own people...something he now only does metaphorically.

Sometimes you have to wonder if the villains from Rocky and Bullwinkle weren't just ahead of their time.

??????

Captions anyone for this photo from Reuters?

The Land of Misfit Toys

Somewhere out there is a land where Elvis sleeps comfortably on a ten mile high pile of all the socks that have disappeared from dryers the world over. Now, after the last couple of weeks, he has $1.1 trillion in stock and real estate wealth. Lest you contemplate trying to abscond with any of that escaped loot, be aware that the land is guarded by the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction.

Snark Bait

It's the end of the semester here in Ivory Towerland, meaning that everyone is alternating between punchy and pissy. What better time to unveil a new occasional series of posts I'm going to call "snark bait" in which a one-liner-worthy story is posted designed to attract your best shots.

The first one comes from Pittsburgh (with a big tip of the hat to JudiPhilly)

So Dr. David Wielechowski, a Pittsburgh dentist, had just married his beloved Christa Vattimo when...

According to a criminal complaint, the Wielechowskis had just checked into the Holiday Inn-McKnight Road in Ross and were ready to enter their room on the seventh floor when they began arguing.

Dr. Wielechowski "then used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor," the complaint reads.

O.k., assault and battery on the way into the honeymoon suite, irony enough for a good post. But it gets better.

Upon hearing her screams, two guests of the hotel who had been attending another wedding reception ran to Mrs. Wielechowski's aid. But when they attempted to restrain Dr. Wielechowski, he began fighting the would-be rescuers only to have Mrs. Wielechowski "turn against [them] and also begin to assault them," according to the complaint.

The fight moved from the hallway into an elevator, then spilled out onto the floor of the lobby, where Dr. and Mrs. Wielechowski picked up metal planters containing live plants and threw them into the elevator at the two rescuers, the complaint says.

Police said both Dr. and Mrs. Wielechowski punched and wrestled with the rescuers, who were left with injuries that included cuts, a tooth knocked out and a possibly broken thumb.

The complaint estimates $1,000 in damage to the hotel, including to the elevator, the planters and plants.

She turned on the people trying to help her. What was in this woman's mind? "Hey, they are trying to deprive my dear husband of something he cares about -- beating the crap out of me. How dare they. I need to stand by my man. I'll give them what for."

Dr. Wielechowski initially was taken to UPMC Passavant in McCandless for examination of possible injuries, then to the Allegheny County Jail, where his wife already had been booked. They spent the night in separate holding cells until they were released on their own recognizance late yesterday morning...

Mrs. Wielechowski, still dressed in her wedding gown, was picked up by her father and taken home. No one was awaiting Dr. Wielechowski, whose left eye was blackened and swollen shut. He was arraigned wearing tuxedo pants, a bloodied T-shirt and one shoe.

So, there's the snark bait. My shots:

"Boy, I don't even want to think about what they did feeding each other that first slice of wedding cake."

"I wonder if the mug shots go in the wedding album."

Have at it.