My Apology to Santorum, Dobson, and Cornyn

I was wrong, they were right. In my post Countering the Slippery Slope Nonsense: Why Gay Marriage Doesn't Lead to Box Turtle Nuptials, I made light of the frightening possibility that opening the gates to gay marriage might lead down the slippery slope to human/non-human marriage. This line of reasoning has been embraced by James Dobson (whose mind goes to donkeys), Rick Santorum (who prefers dogs), and John Cornyn (for whom box turtles are the great Satan of matrimony). I argued:

Animals may or may not have moral rights, but under our social contract they do not have legal rights. Since animals cannot be held legally responsible and cannot participate in making decisions, they cannot be married. If children do not rise to the standard, then clearly neither do box turtles. As for Dobson's donkeys, I have known many people who married jackasses, but that is a different question. One might object that Lassie was quite capable of making life or death decisions for little Timmy, so "shouldn't they be allowed to get married?" I don't think it is a real concern because while Lassie seemed gentle and caring on screen, everyone knows that off-camera she was just a little bitch.

But now, out of India comes this bit of news. Apparently, a woman living outside of Bhubaneswara has married a cobra. When asked for comment, the father of the bride was quoted as saying,

"He may not look like much, but he will be a great provider for my daughter. The snake expects to make partner next year in the law firm of Gupta, Shyster, and Gupta, LLC."

While this is a religious, not a civil, union, the fact is that the possibility is apparently more open than I allowed in my treatment of the question. Reverend Dobson, Senator Cornyn, and soon to be ex-Senator Santorum, please accept my sincere apology.