Saturday, September 19, 2009


Ahoy My Scurvy Comedist Maties,

In honor of "Talk Like a Pirate Day," let's do pirate jokes. The classic, of course, is,

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his belt. The bartender asks him what it's for to which he responds, "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts."

Another classic:
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them--yarrgh, er, pooped--in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
So, what be your favorite pirate jokes?